Don't Vought
Let's talk about the secret mastermind behind the government shutdown.
All of my life, like, literally from the moment I was born, winking at the nurse cutting the umbilical cord, to today, where I cannot afford to see a nurse—Donald Trump has been a moron.
The genius businessman with as many bankruptcy filings as Tom Brady has Championship rings.
The head honcho, unable to walk down a flight of stairs without assistance.
A man capable of speaking for 10 consecutive minutes without any thought or sentence corresponding to the previous—vomiting up random bits and pieces of conversations he overheard throughout his day—meandering, no point, nothing of interest ever spoken.
Donald Trump is a bag of hot buttermilk, born with enough money to fail, often, almost always—and still maintain his exorbitant wealth through his waning charisma, big extravagant, gaudy parties (often co-hosted by the super wholesome and kind financier, Jeffrey Epstein)—parties used to launder his reputation as just a big fun, big, big as hell, overweight, massive, rich, harmless cartoon man. (Harmless as long as you weren’t a contractor waiting for a Trump payment never coming or a teenage pageant queen wondering why a gameshow host is allowed in the greenroom to watch you change).
But at no point in his life did he ever demonstrate an ability to effectively dismantle American democracy.
Realistically, if Donald Trump purchased a local Domino’s Pizza franchise, today, the place would be out of business by Christmas—Donald leaving the wreckage with all the register’s petty cash and pepperonis falling out of his pockets.
So how does this man continue to stack political victories despite his undeniable lack of attention to detail, or attention? How does he keep winning despite surrounding himself with Kash Patel’s and Pete Hegseth’s—buffoons who can’t get out of their own driveways without a GPS?
The government shutdown is officially over thanks to the courage, fearlessness and heroics of Democrats—who held out voting for the new budget until Republicans ammended their cuts to the healthcare system—understanding the short-term brutality low income Americans were set to face with the pause of their government assistance but recognizing their party could no longer act as the “responsible party”, annually bailing out the Republicans ruthless incompontence—the Dems used their small leverage to put the onus on Trump’s regime to fold, un-do their short-sighted cuts to healthcare, and re-open the government.
The government is back open bay-beeee (except the Dems voted in favor of the budget without Republicans making any concessions, thus forcing millions to struggle for the last 6 weeks for no reason at all—healthcare will still be gutted next year, essentially making the last month or so meaningless.)
If we look for a silver lining in the heart of the landfill where our formerly functioning government now rots, the 6-week government shutdown—the longest in American history—put a spotlight on the real Commander in Chief calling the shots behind the scenes while the sundowning pervert who, as you read this, is chasing a laser pointer around his office, takes all the credit.
Meet Russell Vought (pronounced “vote” because of course it is)
Russell Vought is Trump’s Director of the Office of Management and Budget. The OMB is an all-powerful body—in charge of reviewing all executive orders before the president signs them, reviewing all regulations proposed by government agencies, and most notably, the OMB controls all the money.
After discovering all the ins and outs of the government in Trump’s first term, and with 4 years to prepare for his return to the White House, Russell Vought is the architect responsible for 100% of the harm caused by this administration.
In 2019, after Congress refused to fund Trump’s border wall. Russell Vought fixed the problem, redirecting billions of dollars in Department of Defense money to build it.
Later that year, after the Trump White House pressured Ukraine’s government to investigate presidential candidate Joe Biden, Vought froze $214 million in security assistance for the country under siege by Russia.
Now, in his second shot to mold the world in his image, Vought is all gas, no brakes on dismantling any program, policy or procedure that makes life better for Americans.
Remember when Elon Musk and his group of unqualified, terminally online losers created DOGE to gut every regulatory body, turning over every cushion for coins, squeezing every dollar they can by cancelling any financial aid to anything outside of building bombs?
That was Russell Vought directing Elon Musk, using Musk’s sweaty desperation to be admired by anyone as a shield. Elon can go on stage with chainsaws, bragging about slashing malaria aid to Africa and Vought can continue his mission in the shadows. (until he inevitably contracts malaria because, yea, that’s what the money was preventing.)
Russell Vought is a self-proclaimed Christian Nationalist. “Christian nationalist,” he once told an audience that “the phrasing is too accurate to run away from the term. . . . I’m a Christian. I am a nationalist. We were meant to be a Christian nation.”
At age 4, he lost a sister, his parents lost a daughter. In the face of that tragedy, he and his family quadrupled-down on their faith, their mother creating a Christian school, Russell proud of his specific, self-serving definition of Christianity.
Like Vice President JD Vance, both men come from middle to lower income families, dedicating their adult lives to making life worse for middle to lower income families—weaponizing their faith, pretending to be ordained by god to rule so they can climb to the heights of power and kick the ladder down behind them.
He founded Citizens for Renewing America, a “grassroots” organization dedicated to ending “woke” and “cancel culture” and immigration and basically anything brown.
“The stark reality in America is that we are in the late stages of a complete Marxist takeover of the country, in which our adversaries already hold the weapons of the government apparatus,”
Karl Marx wanted workers to have more rights and power in society. Not one single American politician is a “Marxist”. This is a made-up enemy Russell Vought invokes as an attempt to mask his cruelty under the veil of protection.
Vought fought with his staff over cuts to Meals on Wheels—a program responsible for feeding millions of Americans. The devout Christian determined to starve as many people as possible, because, Marxism(?)
If Jesus were alive today, Vought would label him a “Marxist”—suddenly, miraculously uncovering the precious, protected government funds to pay for his public execution live on CBS, Friday, 8pm Eastern.
America has hitched its wagon to paranoid sociopaths who’ve convinced themselves they are the true, divine saviors against imaginary world-eating entities like Marxism, Woke and the Deep State—all manufactured boogeymen haunting the nightmares of Fox News consumers who believe the country is being controlled and manipulated by a secret cabal of make-believe, god-hating elites, unleashing black and brown and trans barbarians into the streets—when in reality, Russell Vought and Stephen Miller and anyone calling the shots in the White House these days are unhiriable, unpleasant, unimpressive maniacs, getting their revenge after years of being shoved in lockers and having their milk money taken on the school bus in front of the girls they liked.
Donald Trump is still, just a moron—watching Russell Vought play Call of Duty, but holding an unplugged Xbox controller, no idea he’s not the one playing.
Thankfully, we have the Democrats wilting in the corner under the pressure of having to actually work, allowing Trump’s team of goblins and no-hoe-havers to raid the nation of its wealth, health, diversity and rights.
Russell Vought has 3 more years of this.
At least the Knicks are on a 4-game winning streak…
Thanks for reading. All typos are PR campaigns to make me seem more approachable.