The Bronx is Burning (Down)
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Let’s Yap Yarn
Welcome to Let’s Yap Yarn, the Miami Marlins and Cubs SS Dansby Swanson are on fire, while the Yankees are on holiday…
Marlins Bitten By Radioactive June Bug
Major League Baseball is currently advertising a big Fourth of July weekend. 15 games on Saturday. 15 games on Sunday. All the stars are here to celebrate America’s 250th and final birthday.
Some interesting storylines around the league. We got the trade deadline coming up. All-Star votes finalizing. The NL Cy Young race is full of assassins, Jacob Misirowski, somewhere in a dark cavern, eyes rolled back, feet levitating off the floor, black oozes seeping from his open mouth down his chin, agreeing to obey the demon who granted him the power to throw 103mph fastballs.
But the Miami Marlins winning 20 of 26 June games—swept the Nationals, Diamondbacks, first-place Devil Rays amd Giants—the only thing I want to yap about.
Their pitching staff had the league-lowest ERA and their lineup was 4th in OPS in June.
Guys who work there are doing things they’ve never done before.
5th-year shortstop Otto Lopez decided to put his name in the canon, becoming the best hitter in the world. He’s leading the Majors batting .368 (with Marlins second baseman Xavier Edwards batting .301—their infield addicted to being in the infield).
The Marlins have the lowest payroll in baseball and the 2nd worst attendence. They’re basically the 31st Triple-A team MLB allows onto its schedule—half a game out of the final NL Wild Card spot.
With trade rumors surrounding what was supposed to be a bottom-feeding team, it looks like these brothers banded together, realized they needed to play well in order to keep hanging with each other every day, and are now dominating the sport via the power of friendship.
We Are All Marlins.
(They’re gonna go on a 7-game losing streak and trade every single player their own parking space.)
Everyone Hates Josh Naylor
Earlier this week, Seattle Mariners first baseman Josh Naylor and Cleveland Guardians catcher Austin Hedges got into, Hedges caught on mic shouting “no one likes you” to Josh Naylor, a player I would describe as a “patience-tester”.
Let’s review the footages:
Naylor’s bat’s dangerous, 120 wRC+ in back-to-back seasons, but for two different teams.
One of Naylor’s former teammates, Stone Garrett, chimed in to share his own I Hate Josh Naylor story:
His former teammate tells a story about Josh Naylor popping out of closets wih butchers knives to “scare” his “friends”, sending one of them to the hospital and leaving them with permanent nerve damage attempting a “prank”.
I know who Josh Naylor is.
This is not the type of person you welcome around you and your loved ones. He plays too much.
You “pull my finger”, I’m swinging.
The Seattle Mariners are currently tied for first place in the AL West with the Texas Rangers but if anything goes wrong this summer, I’m blaming Seattle signing Josh Naylor to a 5-year contract over the winter.
You invited chaos into this home.
Yankees Corner
Wednesday afternoon, the Yankees lost their 7th consecutive game. Righty set up man, Camilio Doval, gave up a bases-loaded walk in extra innings to Detroit Tigers first baseman, Spencer Torkleson, followed by some fielding blunders.
Yankees lose.
Again.
Last weekend, swept out of their cleats by the Boston Red Sox.
They’ve gone from the best record in the American League to 3.5 games behind Tampa Bay in the AL East. The Devil Rays. Ew.
Here’s a cute little stat: MLB teams since at least 1898 to have a 5-game span with 0 wins, 45+ strikeouts and 16 or fewer hits:
2026 Yankees.
That’s it.
Here’s another cute little stat: Yankees during 7-game losing streak:
17 runs scored, 17 unearned runs allowed
Teams in last 100 years to have a 7-game stretch in a season with 7 losses, 17+ unearned runs allowed and 17 or fewer runs scored:
2026 Yankees
1989 Tigers
That’s it. (The 1989 Detroit Tigers went 59-103, the worst record in the Majors and worst record in Tigers history at the time).
Here’s what team captain Aaron Judge said about his team quiet-quitting midseason:
“Well, it’s not great,” Judge said pregame of the Yankees’ dip in success, according to The Athletic. “Just a little lack of focus. We just gotta dial it in. Our ultimate goal is to win a World Series. I think guys have to remember that every single day they show up here. We’re here to win a World Series.
“That should motivate you every single day you step on that field, no matter what happens, no matter what happens the day before. ‘I got a job to do.’ We’ve got an important sign when you walk out on the field. It’s the last sign you see before you’re out there; it says do your job. Guys are here to do their job.” (The Athletic)
The Knicks just won a championship. Zohran Mamdani’s on every street corner, installing machines homeless people walk through and come out the other side wearing suits, holding briefcases, on their way to open a new, ethical orphanage downtown, every child gifted their own pet pony upon arrival.
I understand the Yankees may not be locked in. Harsh winters ignite summer heat. All matter of distractions fill the clubhouse and some of those distractions have friends—who cares about work? It’s 90 degrees out. Who knows if this newsletter will even make it to an inbox? It’s nice as hell out and I’m inside watching the Yankees strikeout looking.
Aaron Judge is right, the Yankees need to focus.
He also needs to play.
Aaron hasn’t suited up since May 31st, out with a stress fracture in his right rib, not expected to return until mid-August at the earliest, honest opinions leaning towards September.
The 3-time MVP isn’t the only Yankee on the mend. Giancarlo Stanton, Trent Grisham and Ryan McMahon are hanging on the IL too. The 2025 wins leader, Max Fried, out of action too.
Time to call the Marlins and grab some of these Super Friends.
(I still think the Yankees are winning the World Series, as I do every year, until they are eliminated. They’ll be fine)
At least the Mets are good.
What’s that? Oh no..
MLB Award of the Week - Hottest Hitter: Dansby Swanson
Hey, Dansby Swanson is blacking out.
Dansby Swanson’s season line on June 16:
.175/.281/.306 (68 wRC+), 7 HR, 28 RBI
Dansby Swanson’s season line now:
.210/.300/.431 (102 wRC+), 16 HR, 57 RBI
Dansby Swanson has 26 RBI in a 10-game span. The only players to do this in a 10-game span within a season since RBI became official in 1920:
Swanson in 2026
Joe DiMaggio in 1939
Jimmie Foxx in 1933
Lou Gehrig in 1931
Lou Gehrig in 1930
Mel Ott in 1929
Just Dansby surrounded by GOATs like Brienne of Tarth in Severance.
In case my wounds needed some salt…
Last 13 games:
Dansby Swanson: 9 HR, 29 RBI
Yankees: 14 HR, 33 RBI
Dansby Swanson has 176 career home runs. He’s now 5th all-time for most NL homers as a shortstop, behind only Ernie Banks (277), Jimmy Rollins (227), Barry Larkin (194), and Troy Tulowitzki (187).
2 Gold Gloves. 2 All-Star appearances. 3 seasons finishing Top 20 in MVP voting. We are witnessing one of the greatest shortstops of his generation at the peak of his powers.
At age 32, Dansby Swanson is having an all-time summer, up there with James Cameron every time the box office numbers came in and the UFC fighters who wanted to kiss Trump on the mouth at the White House event.
Runner-up: Junior Caminero
While the Yankees are trapped within the prisons of their own fears and anxieties—free-falling down the standings—Aaron Judge Adaming his rib for nothing, Eve can’t hit a fastball—the Tampa Bay Devil Rays employ star third baseman Junior Caminero, shooting souvenirs nightly into the bleachers. 22 home runs on the season, and homers in 6 consecutive games now for the first-place Devil. Rays.
The New York Knicks won the title, but at what cost… (the fucking Devil Rays, yo)
Oh, and I wrote about the San Francisco Giants being assholes about Pride Month if you wanna read that.
Thanks for reading. All typos are workers’ strikes.